The Pillars of a Strong Family Part I: Healthy Communication

Do you find your family arguing often, leaving you feeling unheard? Are you avoiding your family? Feel like the kids don’t ever listen? I believe that this is not due to a family being “dysfunctional” but rather the family has become too focused on their weaknesses, rather than their strengths. I believe that Family Conflict is due to breakdown in one of the four pillars of a healthy family: healthy communication of needs and feelings, positive interactions, healthy conflict resolutions skills, and consistent expectations and rules. But what are all these pillars, and how can I help you? Today I want to cover the first pillar, healthy communication.

You might be asking yourself, “Why can’t we all just get along!?” or “Why doesn’t anybody listen to me?” and you may feel stuck or hopeless. You might say you are fed up, and done trying. Maybe you keep saying the same thing over and over, yet you still aren’t heard. This is where healthy communication comes in!

Healthy communication is something that a lot of us might not have learned growing up, and as the digital age becomes more common, we continue to lose this art at a staggering rate. Many of us don’t know how to communicate assertively, and resort to either passive or aggressive forms of communication. Healthy communication is when we are able to share how we feel and what we need, while remaining calm but assertive, all while allowing the conversation to remain open and flowing between parties.

Healthy communication is work, but I want to be the first to tell you it is more work to be in constant conflict! When you come to Adultspan Counseling to see me, you can expect to begin by setting ground rules, meant to support and provide a safe place for all family members to learn and share. Second, we identify easy coping strategies to handle stressors while in sessions, and at home. Then we begin a 6-week course that covers basic family communication, which sets the stage for all parties to be able to talk about what is on their mind, without creating further hurt and heartbreak.

So what are you waiting for? Call me today to begin your journey to having a happier, healthier, stronger family.