Meet our Marriage and Couples Therapists!
Click here to set up appointments with any of these therapists. Not ready to make an appointment or need more information first? Hover over “Our Counselors and Therapists” above and select their name and/or blog topic to read more.
Tom Seguin, PLMHP
“We’re just having trouble communicating.”
One of the most common reasons that people give for seeking couples counseling is that they have “communication problems.” While it may be true that couples could use help learning to communicate better, there is usually an underlying issue that brought the communication problem to light. When you feel like you are unable to really connect with your partner, it can feel like you’re having trouble communicating. The underlying issue, however, is that you are just having trouble connecting emotionally. That lack of emotional connection or feeling understood can lead to frequent bickering and fighting. After enough time unaddressed, the fighting becomes a habit, and couples often find that they get in fights without really knowing what they’re fighting about.
Many successful and satisfying marriages last a long time without any specific training in active listening or using “I statements.” Likewise many couple who go to therapy and start using their new skills end up getting divorced anyway. What makes these couples successful or unsuccessful does not start and end with good communication skills.
The need for emotional connection is as basic a human need as food or water. The ability to rely on your partner in times when you need to feel emotionally supported is both a source and sign of strength, both personally and in the relationship. Having a strong emotional loving connection with a partner can help a person get through difficult times and even live a longer life.
In therapy, I often start with breaking down communication barriers to help partners express their needs to each other while providing the space for them to be truly heard by one another. For couples who fight, I help them recognize their patterns and habits so they can stop bickering and begin the process of change. Additionally, I provide a structure for couples to have meaningful, connecting experiences with one another that allows them to feel vulnerable but safe in each other’s company. As they build on these intimate moments, couples practice healthier ways of thinking about their partners to help solidify the positive and connecting emotions they are experiencing together. Finally, as we progress through treatment, couples are guided through the process of helping each other achieve their own goals together, which fosters a stable bond that can last for decades.
If you feel like you are unable to connect with your partner or if you think you’d rather just work on communication, call me at 402-325-0117 x4 to book an appointment, or schedule online.
Nicole Kauk, LMHP
Has your relationship lost that loving feeling? Are you struggling to communicate needs, wants, and feelings? Feeling alone? Arguing a lot? Or not talking at all?
As the years pass, these and many other issues can arise in any relationship. Relationships are hard! Learning to navigate the ups and downs and continuing to grow together isn’t always as easy as it sounds, and outside help may be needed.
That’s where I come in. My goal as a therapist is to help couples to increase positivity in their relationship and to decrease the big 4: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. According to Dr. John Gottman, these are the biggest predictors of the big D, and I don’t mean Dallas. Utilizing standards of Dr. Gottman and Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, as well as cognitive behavioral and mindfulness counseling techniques, I can assist you in learning to improve your communication effectiveness, and help bring back that loving feeling. In session, you will learn the skills necessary to improve your relationship, and we will practice, practice, practice! And remember, changes won’t happen if you only focus on them once a week in therapy, so together we will set manageable and concrete goals for the week.
So if you are ready to make changes to get back that loving feeling…call me today to set up your first appointment! Immediate openings are available. Phone: 402-325-0117 X5 or book now online!
J. Kipp Lanning, LIMHP, LPC
Couples Counseling: Couples come to me attempting to “resolve” conflicts in the marriage. I help couples (both men and women) do this through normalizing the underlying needs being express and giving a safe place to express those needs. In an attempt to “rationalize” the needs being express couples can get caught in a pattern of needing to “win” fights rather than risk the vulnerability of asking and risk the possibility of rejection. This does two things – 1) It often means not asking for what we really want and 2) prevents your partner from being able to compassionately and caringly meet your needs. If you’re unsatisfied, for whatever reason in your marriage, or if you are caught in a pattern of win/lose arguing, call today.
Affair Recovery: The betrayal one feels in a marriage when one, or both, partners have been unfaithful (physically, online, or emotionally) is very real. But recovery is possible. Unfortunately the way I see couples attempt to recover often causesmore damage. The partner who has the affair has needs (rarely sexual in nature) that are often unexpressed and, in light of the affair are understandably now dismissed. They make any promises they hope will make it all “go away” rather than fix the underlying problem. The partner who has been hurt feels the need be assured that it will never happen again – which is expected and possible. The problem is that they often pursue it with behaviors, conversations and demands that do more damage to themselves, their partner and their marriage. Recovery from an affair is hard, emotionally taxing work, but it is possible, call today.
Intimacy (Sex) Therapy: Sexuality is a potent connection between emotion, thinking, and our relationships – each affecting the other. We now know so much about sexuality; however, this knowledge is often at odds with old and powerful social messages. I work with couples to address sexual issues by offering understanding about inaccurate beliefs about sex that let couples navigate solving their own sexual problems. These problems are usually presented as relating to frequency, duration, or desire. I use specific approaches that broaden the discussion from talk that creates defensiveness to make real understanding. I often find that the dynamics that are problems in the bedroom are often reflections of the dynamics in other areas of the relationship. Learning skills to change these broader dynamics to foster a healthy relationship for a couple results in improving the relationship as a whole not just sexually.
If your marriage needs work – call today. I prefer to work with the couple as a unit, but I find that even if one of the two partners starts a change process it can be helpful and frequently the other partner will join the conversation. Call 402-325-0117 x1 or find what works for you right now by booking online!