How Trauma Affects Attachment

Do you feel like it is hard to bond with your child? Do you feel as though your child pushes you away when you try to be close to them or show them affection? When you attempt to communicate with your child, do they seem “far away” or “somewhere else?” Does your child seem to rather be alone than with other individuals? Are you feeling rejected by your child?

Trauma can affect attachment in a major way. Without treatment, it can affect a person throughout their lifetime. It is hard to bond with someone who doesn’t seem to want your attention. They may not even know why they are pushing you away. They may be unknowingly rejecting you before you can reject them, not knowing you have no intention of doing so. Your child may have been hurt some way in the past and not processed it at all or in a healthy way, making whatever happened a traumatic experience for them. You may or may not recognize the trauma experienced in your child’s life. The trauma may not have happened in your home or by someone you are aware of or are acquainted with.

 

Not all is lost. There are ways to treat trauma in order to help individuals regain their ability to attach in relationships. Secure attachments are important to lead a healthy and happy life. Looking at the way individuals communicate, how individuals respond to stress, and manage emotions are important things to look at. Processing traumatic experiences are important to moving on and understanding why individuals may react in certain ways. There are times in which realizing an individual has had a traumatic experience could be a challenge. Our brains will, at times, block things out. This is a protection mechanism. This could be a reason why an individual hasn’t possessed a traumatic experience. This is part of figuring out the “why” of behaviors.

Maybe you want to feel closer to your child. Maybe you want to repair your family and need to feel a healthy bond between all of you instead of a disconnect, like ships passing in the night. Maybe you want your child to be able to experience healthy relationships throughout their life, know what true friendships and partnerships are. Call or make an appointment online today.

Kristi Quattrochi, MSW, PLMHP, PCMSW
AdultSpan Counseling
1001 South 70th St. Suite 225
Lincoln, NE 68510 Phone: 402-325-0117 Ext. 14