Many women have imagined themselves as a mother from the time they are able to imitate the maternal moves of their own mother. Holding a baby doll, cuddling it tight, whispering sweetly or singing a gentle lullaby…we were mothers in our own mind from an early age. Many men take for granted that they will neatly fit into roles similar to their own fathers, mentoring their child. Loving their child. Supporting their child. Infertility smashes the dreams and beliefs about what our adult life will look like.
Infertility is the inability to conceive after a year of unprotected sex. The term is also used to for the inability to carry a pregnancy to term either by miscarriage or still birth. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that approximately 6% of women aged 15-44 in the United States have difficulty becoming pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term. Infertility can have multiple causes, attributed to either partner. There are many choices, processes and procedures a couple grappling with infertility can try to give nature a hand in the process. These processes and procedures can have inherent challenges and difficulties. They may be painful, costly, not to mention, interfering with the romance and passion once associated with the process of making a baby. Romance and passion may seem to have been replaced by doctor’s visits, gynecological exams, (sometimes painful) procedures, and shots.
In the process of trying to create a family, couples can be left with lots of hard questions: Why me? Why him or her? Am I being punished? Why is it so easy for everyone else? Am I infertile because of past choices I made? Or past choices my partner made? Will my partner still love me? Will my partner stay with me if we remain childless? Should we adopt? Should we keep trying?
When the doubts and the sorrow, the stress and the insensitivity of others about your infertility leaves you feeling depressed, anxious or struggling in your relationship, it is time to seek help. Dr. Kilgore can help with an compassionate, empathetic, yet informed approach to healing. If you or someone you know is struggling with the mental and emotional toll of infertility, call today.