Admitting to having an affair can be hard, but knowing how to support your partner after the discovery of your affair is even harder. Every move you make in an attempt to bring your relationship back to “normal” seems to cause your partner more pain and leaves you confused as to how to approach them. If you try to talk about the affair your partner gets upset, but ignoring the issue leads to built up resentment. This double edge sword leaves you wondering how to truly be there for your partner after you have had an affair. Do you continue to fight for your partner or do you admit defeat and let them be?
These mixed feelings commonly occur after someone has had an affair. You feel guilty for what you have done and unworthy of your partner’s love. You do not have to struggle with knowing what steps to take next in your relationship. Being there for your partner in a way that allows them to get clarity about the affair leads to the possibility of forgiveness, renewed trust, and a stronger relationship than before. You do not have to settle with the uncertainty of where to go next with your partner after the affair has been discover.
I believe that being there for your partner in affair recovery is critical to moving past the affair. As your counselor, we can work together to find the most productive way of supporting and nurturing your partner and your relationship. The ability to work as a team in discovering what vulnerabilities within the relationship need to be addressed can allow you to be there for your partner during this critical time. I have worked with couples to improve their communication so that they are able to better identify what their partner needs from them both during affair recovery and in the future. This allows you to nurture each other’s feelings and improve how you get along with your partner.
If you struggle with knowing how to be there for your partner after an affair, call me today at 402-325-0117 x13 to learn more and schedule an appointment, or book an appointment online!
Shelby Henderson, M.Ed., PLMHP
1001 S 70th St #225
Lincoln, NE 68510